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Nikki's Diary June 2001
6/25/2001 - [title was: OUTLAW CLOTHING]
WE HAD A MAJOR MEETING TODAY WITH A DISTRIBUTER THAT LOOKS LIKE WERE GONNA
BE IN OVER 500 STORES.
ILL LET YOU KNOW MORE AS SOON AS ME,DONNA ,MIKE AND KEVIN KNOW MORE..
N.S.
6/7/2001
(post 1)
NYC
I'll be coming home today. I'm here in NYC for the unveiling of the JVC billboard in times square featuring myself and Shaun Palmer. we did all the press involved ((cnn,mtv,vh-1,espn,etc etc)).it was a nice turn of events that the book hit the n y times best seller list at the same time.....good tie in for all
involved.saw danos mom at the ESPN building kick off....i didn't know she liked little Japanese men so much, if i had know we would've brought the whole JVC company for her...i think she hit her limit at about 40 gallons....sorta like a big gulp sushi shake...
(post 2)
rhyan d'errico
would you please say a prayer for rhyan.hes having medical problems and we need all the help we can get.....donna is worried and scared as we all are..
nothing bitter should happen to a sweet child...
nikki and donna
[Special note from webmaster - please notice that the link that Nikki put in his diary
entry below, is for a section of this web site!]
(post 3)
OUTLAW GIRL CLOTHING
http://www.absolute-motleycrue.com/outlaw/outlaw.shtml
6/16/2001
"And the truth shall set you free"
Dear God, its me and I have a story to tell you, its not like you weren't watching me but this confession need not be so private...
What I'm about to say seems like a nightmare, but in fact it's more like a horror film that won't stop running through me and my wife's head...... this last summer, I was on tour and under more stress than I ever been in my life. Everything seemed to be on a hot button all of a sudden. The years and years of the pressure plate had finally built to a boiling point inside me.(( too many to list right now.....)) I had started to hide behind sleeping pills to mask my anxiety at night and was dabbling in drinking even though I knew it was wrong (( an event I shared only with my wife from time to time..)).... Now here's the beginning of the sick part of the story....My wife who was pregnant at the time sat home and took care of my three children and her son and at the same time kept our home together and organized. As she did this I began my slide into lies and secrecy on the road, something I don't do well and have never done to Donna since our marriage 5 years ago. Of course, I came home a complete fucking wreck...detached....depressed and unable to enjoy Donna's pregnancy or be there as a father, friend or husband. So a time that should have been shrouded in celebration was veiled in confrontations and disappointments...We were at an all time low considering it should have been the happiest time of our life..I now know in coming thru the other side how alone, how sad and how confused that must have made Donna feel.
But God, at this point of my confession is where I become asshole of the year....
After years of talking about having a baby together the wonderful day finally came....only to be a bittersweet entry into the world for our sweet little daughter..I finally lost all sanity and control of my mind.... and I moved out of our home(two weeks after Donna gave birth)....I cant understand this..nor can I explain this..I can only regret this..But,quicker than I expected I started a decent into drugs and drinking and hanging out with low lifes and sluts. Of course the hangers on were all of a sudden saying they were my friends,when my true best friend((my wife)) laid at home with our new daughter recovering from a c-section alone..........at some point I came out of my haze of self pity, and saw what I had lost and the damage I had done. I had broken up my family, I had confused my kids,and I had hung out and cheated on my wife with pigs and whores who weren't worthy of licking the bottom of her shoes. In coming to terms with my insanity I needed to tell Donna of my wrong doings...and the TRUTH.
First,so nobody thinks she doesn't know...cause shes not a fool...
Second out of respect for her and my kids. I want her to be able to hold her head up with dignity rather than humiliation.
Third in hope for a clean slate and her forgiveness........
I know you were watching, now I hope you're listening.....I'm not speaking to you God, but to my wife..when I say I'm sorry and I regret every moment I wasn't with you, I mean it from the core of my soul. I can't believe I did what I did to you. First I lost my dignity, then I took hers away, then I lost my family.
Donna, I hope you are willing to forgive me and we can watch our kids grow up together as one.
Donna, you know I love you more than life itself....
and I am sorry for how I have disrespected you in front of God and the all the world.
forever in love....through thick and thin
your husband..
Nikki
6/17/2001
thats just wrong
ive recieved e-mails saying ((hang in there bro))...
being a fan of mine or the band is a completly different issue than being a fan of a woman whos gone thru this alone...
shes the hero in this story....please,dont confuse issues..
read my post again and ask yourself who needs to ((hang in there))
put yourself in her shoes and ask that question..
all my respect goes to donna....
nikki
6/18/2001
the understanding of standing up
The understanding of standing up is not for me,(but for my soul mate)()(mrs donna d'errico-sixx)))....to me it is so important that at any public event,wheather its at a party..or just walking down the street.there is an understanding of truth(complete honesty with your mate)...this wonder woman that i married has taken me back on the understanding that we are soulmates,,,,all my extra screwing around left me empty and and longing for
my lover of the past 5 years///.(and left her feeling betrayed and with low-self-esteem)).....this is for her to see...you to see and us all to learn...life is short...don't buy into the b.s.but into the long run..........
nikki,donna.gunner,rhyan,storm,decker and frankie-jean...
now lets get on with life.........a good life.....full of laughs and fullfiled promoses....we all make mistakes....but its the one whom you make them too who needs love..
and i love donna....with all my heart...she is the girl of my dreams...and then some..
nikki sixx
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